Closet
by Hooded-Figurine
Summary: Ed traps Ling and RanFan in a closet, then temporarily forgets about them. Fluff, hilarity and a dose of OoCness. Pairings: LingFan, implied Edwin. Rated T for blood and disturbed dreams.
1. Chapter 1

**A fluffy LingFan fic. Well, fluffy and _funny_. will most likely make you laugh.**

**Healthy dose of OoCness, to make them fit the plot.**

**Oh, and Al is human at this point, just FYI.**

**Enjoy!  
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**Ling's POV**

I'm not really sure how I wound up in this place, one moment I'm exploring an abandoned warehouse in Dublith with a one armed Ed, the next I've fallen through the floor and am sitting in a closet a floor below. "Ed! Get Alphonse!" But when I look up through the jagged hole, I can't see him at all. I sit there in the well-like space for several minutes before hearing footsteps.

"Young Lord!"

There's only one person here who calls me that, "RanFan! Is Alphonse there?"

She appears in the hole, left arm still missing. "No. Should I fetch him?"

I nod, but before she can run off, Ed puts his hand on her back and shoves her into the hole. I leap to my feet and catch her as the short blonde begins to walk away. "I'll be back later."

I look at my bodyguard, setting her back on her feet. "What did we do?"

She shrugs, and immediately winces due to the multitude of gouges she obtained while fighting Pride on the 'Promised Day'. She sits down, but the closet is just barely large enough for the two of us to sit side by side, so she curls her legs up tightly to give me space. "Young Lord, you are unharmed?"

I look at her incredulously, "Yes, RanFan. Aside from an impressive bruise, I'm fine."

She scowls, "When we get out of here, Ed will be running for his life."

I laugh, "Yes, and I'm sure his stubby little legs won't be able to move fast enough for his liking." She smiles, and a question comes to mind. "What did Ed _say_ to get you to come?"

She looks down, "Ed said that you were in trouble, and the others were all in the backyard." We sit there in silence for a long while, and when the sun is on the verge of setting, she speaks up. "Has he forgotten about us?"

Her whisper is loud in the near complete silence, but I quickly come up with a reassuring reply. "I'm not sure, but he'll be back tomorrow."

Not long after he says this, it begins to rain. Not a light drizzle, or a spring shower, but a cold, hard rain, buckets of it. Without any visible trigger, RanFan chuckles, and I give her a questioning look. "I'm almost glad Pride destroyed my auto mail. Even though Winry didn't make it, she'd kill me for soaking it to this degree."

I smile back at her, "Probably." The rain pelts us for a long while, and on an impulse I scoot over to sit next to her. I put one arm around her shoulders and whisper "I love you."

She smiles at me, "Same here."

I blink as a few raindrops run into my eyes, "I thought you were half asleep."

"I was, but not anymore."

I can't think of anything to say, and find myself babbling. "There have been so many times I wanted to tell you that you're beautiful, but didn't. The first time I took control over Greed, I wanted to find you and Fuu. But you were gone, and I only found Ed. When Greed started to take over, the last thing I had to ask was whether or not you had gotten my note."

As I start into another nervous sentence, she grabs my collar and pulls me into a kiss, "Stop talking." I nod, dumbstruck by her sudden assault, and kiss her again.

**Ed's POV**

Ling and I are 'exploring' the old warehouse that Al and I used to play tag in, and I steer him towards a spot I'd weakened with alchemy. Like the sucker he is, he falls right through. Ignoring him yelling at me to bring Al, I run back to teacher's house and grab RanFan's arm. "Ling's in trouble!" She's so worried about him that she doesn't even ask what kind of trouble before running after me.

We near the hole and she calls out, "Young Lord!"

Ling's voice echoes out from his cell, "RanFan! Is Alphonse there?"

She leans over the hole. "No. Should I fetch him?"

Ling nods, but to keep RanFan from escaping and ruining the plan, I put my remaining hand on her back and push her into the shaft, where Ling leaps to his feet and catches her before she lands headfirst on the stone floor. As I walk away I call over my shoulder, "I'll be back later." If they haven't kissed by the time I get back, I'll just leave them there till they _do_.

We eat dinner in the backyard, and I bring two plates up to the roof so nobody will know that the foreigners are missing. Al brings them up at dinner again, but subtly. "You know who I was talking about a few days ago?" We all nod, "Well, they're obviously in love."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, you told us already." He drops the topic and resumes eating his cheeseburger, until the clouds open up in a sudden downpour. There's a general commotion as everyone runs inside with their plates, and I excuse myself to retrieve Ling and RanFan's. The uneaten food is heaped into a small pile for the squirrels that live in the tree, and I bring the two empty plates inside. "Empty plates, but they're not up there."

Winry looks up from putting the final touches on my arm, "I hope they're out of the rain."

With a pang of guilt, I realize that they aren't. "Yeah me too."

A few turns of the screwdriver later, she holds up the arm. "Done! Now to put it on... Ed, into the kitchen." I follow after her, not wholly looking forward to getting my arm reattached. "Ed, sit there would you?" I nod and sit on the chair she indicates, closing my eyes and listening to her pull the tool kit from her bag. She disconnects the nerves of my arm and slots the limb into place, doing a few final touches before connecting the nerves.

I wince, rubbing my shoulder. "That never gets easier."

She nods, "But you continue to damage your auto mail, so you'll just have to suck it up."

I stick my tongue out at her back, and get a wrench to the head. "You weren't even looking!!!"

She counters over her shoulder while putting her beloved tools back in their case. "I know you Ed, I can tell."

I stand up and test my auto mail briefly, "This feels, different, from the last one."

She looks at me, face split by a smile. "It's not Northern style." I nod, now that Pride is gone, and I don't exactly plan on visiting Briggs anytime soon, Northern type is a little bit redundant.

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**Hehehe... was inspired by spaz time with my crazy little sister, DotTheAmazing She is a natural born comedian.**

**www. fanfiction. net/s/5843228/1/Life_Makes_No_Sense**

**Something like this bit will show up in her story eventually.**

**Please review! It makes me happy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**My thanks to **_Taromaru_**, **_TheHawksEyes_**, **_Wrath lover_**, **_Kristie94_** and** _.NiNJy_** for their attentions.**

**To Pied Piper Pluto: Yes indeed, this story is a unicorn. There is a conspicous _lack_ of LingFan out there.**

**To Mikila94: Yes, she is. But I did warn you, didn't I?**

**To .NiNJy: The reason it went so fast was because it was _origianally_ going to be a oneshot. But I forgot to mark it as such.**

**To all you readers who didn't review: A CURSE ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!**

**And for those who are coming back to read this second chappie, the first one had a MAJOR edit done, so you have to read that again for this to make sense.**

**Let the story begin!**

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**RanFan's POV**

"There have been so many times I wanted to tell you that you're beautiful, but didn't. The first time I took control over Greed, I wanted to find you and Fuu. But you were gone, and I only found Ed. When Greed started to take over, the last thing I had to ask was whether or not you had gotten my note."

I grab his collar and pull him into a kiss just to shut him up, "Stop talking." He nods dumbly and kisses me again, sending shivers up my spine. He pulls me into his lap, and accidentally bumps my shoulder with his. I recoil, breath hissing in through clenched teeth.

He gently pulls me back onto his lap, as gently as a child would her porcelain doll. He tilts my head up, looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry."

His eyes are sad, and I don't like that. "It's alright, I've had worse." He looks at my shoulders, uncharacteristically bared by the thin button up T-shirt that Winry loaned me. Now his eyes are even sadder, so when a shiver racks my body, I scoot into the far corner and curl up again. It takes a while in the pounding rain, but sleep eventually finds me.

When I open my eyes, the rain has lightened to a mere drizzle, and there's an ominous creaking coming from above Ling. I look up and see a large piece of heavy floor tile about to fall on him. I look around, he's thoroughly unconscious, and there is no immediately evident way to stop it from falling. As it begins to plummet towards him, I do the only thing I can think of. I roll on top of him.

His eyes fly open, startled and confused and very, very tired. He says my name, and then the tile strikes the back of my head, and I know no more.

**Ling's POV  
**"I'm so sorry." And I am, I'm truly sorry that I hurt her.

But she just smiles, "It's alright, I've had worse." I can see the truth of that statement on her shoulder, exposed and streaming in the pouring rain. She cut her own arm off, and then walked through the sewers to escape a Homunculus. I frown, thinking of all the ways that could have gone wrong, and then a violent shiver racks her body.

I'm about to wrap my arms around her and share my body heat, but she scoots over to the far corner and curls up like before. I curl up on my side and close my eyes, and the last thought on my mind is of her.

I'm awoken suddenly by something landing on me, and my eyes fly open to see RanFan's face, disconcertingly close. "RanFan?" I swear that she smiles for a split second, but then her face contorts in sudden pain and her forehead slams into mine, making me see stars. I sit up, one hand to my aching forehead and the other supporting her limp frame. When the sting has subsided a little bit, I remove my hand and look at her closely. Nothing is visibly wrong with her, wait… something's running over my hand. I shift her to my right arm and look at the palm of the hand that was supporting her head. "Blood…"

It comes out a strangled whisper, and I feel the warm wetness running over my right hand as well. I turn her onto her stomach and rest her head on my folded knees while pulling off my shirt and tearing it into strips. Since I have nothing else, it'll have to be enough. I pull out the rather large, pointy piece of floor tile that has embedded itself in her head, and begin the strenuous process of bandaging the rather grisly wound.

When it's done, I turn her onto her back and kneel by her side, one hand in front of her mouth to make sure she's still breathing. The other one rests in the cool water until a hair falls over her face, then I gently smooth it back into place. I look up to see if Ed has come back yet, and when I look back down, her brow is creased with worry. "RanFan? Are you awake?"

Her breaths come faster, as if she's running, and then she sits bolt upright. "Young Lord!" She looks around frantically for a moment before her eyes lock onto me. She visibly calms down, and she looks me over. "Young Lord, are you unharmed?"

She has a head wound that is going to need stitches, the water is red with her blood, and she's conscious enough to ask if _I'm_ alright? "Yes, I'm fine. You are an excellent bodyguard." She smiles weakly, her face the color of old paper. "RanFan, lie down. Your head..." She doesn't seem to hear me, and then her eyelids flutter. She faints into my arms, and I cradle her for a while. After a while, she stirs and murmurs my name. Then she begins to toss and turn, screaming in terror.

I grab her arm at the elbow so that she won't hit me, but she keeps screaming, "LING!! **LING!!!**"

I pull her up to sit on my lap, holding her tightly. "RanFan, it's alright. It's fine. I'm here."

She begins to cry silently, and throws her arm around me. I hear a quiet rip from her shoulder, and gently lower her arm. She tries to put it back, but I hold it in place at her side and tilt her head up. Tears are streaming down her face, and I have no idea how to stop them. No, I do have _one_ idea. I put my arms around her and hug her close, gently kissing her full on the lips.

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**cool! this fic has over 100 hits for 1 chapter! Ultimate only has 600 hits for 12 chapters!  
whatevs, sooooooooooooooooooooo...  
I have decided that this story is to have 3-5 chapters. vote on my profile!**

_REWIEVERS LOVED BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF SANITY!_

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	3. Chapter 3

**My eternal thanks to: **_Wrath lover_**, **_Just Leah _**and **_.nInJy._** (I am so terribly sorrt if I butchered your name)**

**And to Kristie94: I'm sure she does.**

**I also feel obliged to thank the 27 people who viewed, with or without reviewing.**

**Now let the story begin!**

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RanFan's POV

I'm running, running so very fast. I hear my pursuer gaining, and pour on the speed, breathing hard. How long have I been running? Long enough that my lungs are burning and my legs feel like jelly. I trip over a rock and go sprawling on the rough stone, scraping my arms from palm to elbow. As I scramble to get up, my pursuer tackles me down and I bang my head. I see stars, and then somebody some distance ahead of me snarls protectively. "Let. Her. Go." I look up and blood runs into my eyes as the shadow being grabs him by the throat. He seems almost relieved as the _thing _sticks its hand into his chest, going after his heart, and I swear I see him mouth my name.

"Young Lord!" I sit bolt upright, looking around frantically for him to make sure that he's alright. I find him after a few moments, and give him a quick once over, noting his odd, but not unwelcome, lack of a shirt. "Young Lord, are you unharmed?"

He frowns slightly, almost disapprovingly. "Yes, I'm fine. You are an excellent bodyguard." As I smile, little black dots appear in my vision, dancing around with ever increasing speed. My eyelids begin to flutter, and every time they close briefly the spots multiply, growing in size as well as number. I see his mouth move, but don't hear the words. I want to ask him to repeat what he said, but all the energy seems to have drained from my body. My eyes close and I fall backwards, into arms that smell of rainwater and blood.

I'm in the strangest place, a long, shadowy hallway, with the only light coming from beneath a closed door at the end. I take a step, and hear a rustle of fabric. Looking down, I see that I am wearing a white dress, simple, but beautiful and elegant at the same time. My left hand is flesh and bone, and sports a ring that glimmers, even in the dark. I shake my head, "No, no way. That is _not_ it." I shake off the fantasy and walk towards the door, clumsy in the dress' bell-like skirt. When I get there, the knob turns easily in my hand, and the door swings inward to reveal, "Ling?"

He turns around, tie in a hopeless knot. "RanFan! What are you doing here? Don't you know its bad luck?"

"Huh?"

He sighs, smiling a little. "I'm not supposed to see the dress until the altar."

I blink, confused, and suddenly the cozy scene dissolves and we're in front of an enormous stone gate, with nothing but whiteness in every direction. I'm flat on my back, and Ling is standing in front of me, arms out, hands gray and clawed. His jacket and shirt are ripped in multiple places, and he seems to be deflecting something. "Ling?"

He turns his head to look at me, a relieved smile on his face. "RanFan! You're awake!"

Then black hands wrap around him, and begin to pull him into the gate. I clumsily regain my footing and run after him. "Ling!"

"Ran..." A black hand covers his mouth, choking off his cry.

"LING!" I get almost close enough to touch him, then black hands pull me in the opposite direction. The distance between us grows, and I find myself screaming his name ever louder. Suddenly my eyes snap open, and I slam them shut immediately in a futile attempt to contain the tears.

Ling pats me awkwardly on the back, holding me close. "RanFan, it's alright. It's fine. I'm here."

The tears spill over, and I throw my arm around him, ignoring the burning pain it raises in my shoulder. Ling grasps my arm just below the elbow and puts it back at my side. I try to put it back, but he restrains me. As I taste the first drops of salty water, he tilts my head up, and it is through watery eyes that I see him draw closer. And then our lips meet. To my surprise, I find myself kissing him back as one of his hands tangles itself into my hair and his other arm wraps around my waist, drawing me closer. His arm keeps mine pinned at my side, so I simply wrap my legs around him instead. He's warm, and his heat makes me shiver for no reason I can explain.

No. Wait. This is wrong. He is my prince. And I am his bodyguard. So why can't I find the will to struggle? Why can't I find it in myself to _want_ him to stop? We separate, gasping desperately for air, and he leans his forhead agianst mine, smiling. "I take it you're feeling better."

His statement confuses me, "What do you mean?"

"Your head." I begin to lift my arm to feel my head, but my shoulder protests and he grabs my hand, lowering it to his lap so that no stress is on my shoulder, "Don't." He looks down at our joined hands, and I see a glint of fear in his eye. "RanFan, your hand is blue." I look down and see that he's right, from nails to wrist my hand is a blue that shames the night sky. Ling hesitantly places his hands on my shirt's top button, and I look him in the eyes. "Body heat." I nod, bending my arm at the elbow to undo the buttons, but he beats me to the punch and peels away the soaked shirt, flinging it off to one side.

He grabs my hand and splays it on my chest, placing the freezing cold appendage directly above my heart. He hugs me tightly, sandwiching my hand between our bare chests and sharing his body heat. He kisses me and a shiver rolls down my spine, followed by a wave of heat that spreads throughout my body. As my hand begins to regain feeling, a voice calls out from above us "Hey Al! Look who's getting to second base!"

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**hmm... only 89 hit _total_ yesterday. Foo. Ah well! I'm still indecisive as to**

_REWIEVERS LOVED BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF SANITY!_

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	4. Chapter 4

**My eternal (generic) thanks to: **_Wrath lover_** and **_Deprived Homunculus_** for reviewing.**

**Now for special reviews!**  
**To**_ Kristy94_**: Yes, I agree with you. That line is epic. And I would like to thank you publicly for being such a faithful reader/reviewer.**

**To **_.NiNJy_**: Your name is as confusing as your reviews are awesome. But it's so freaking cool that I don't care. And yes, it was rather short. But only because the previous ones were rather long. You are also right that Ed knows how to ruin a moment, and that the dream sequences are weird. But please know that I make dreams weird _on purpose_.  
**

**Wow, that was a ton of writing for only two special reviews!**  
_Now let the story begin!_

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**Ling's POV  
**I'm surprised when RanFan kisses me back, I had thought that her sense of duty as my bodyguard would have made her pull away. I wind one hand into her hair, ignoring the sticky clumps of blood that are matted in. My other arm snakes around her waist and pulls her closer, serving the double purpose of keeping her arm down. Even though I kissed her once when we were children, and she kissed me a few hours ago, this is completely new. Unable to hug me with her arm, she wraps her legs around my waist and throws herself into the kiss.

We separate only when we need to breathe, and even then I lean my forehead against hers, "I take it you're feeling better."

Her brow furrows in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Your head." She lifts her arm, and I hear stitches ripping. I grab her hand and lower it, noting the growing blood stain on the bandages. "Don't." Her hand feels like ice, and I look down at it. The sight chills me to the bone, "RanFan, your hand is blue." As she looks down, I piece together a plan to save the limb before frostbite necessitates its removal. But I feel like I need her permission, so my hands are hesitant as they land on her shirt's top button. I look into her beautiful dark eyes, and state my plan in two words. "Body heat."

She nods, and I take that as permission, hastily undoing the button up top that Winry loaned her. Peeling away the soaking wet garment, I fling it to the side and splay her hand over her heart. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, crushing her against myself to share as much heat as possible. I kiss her lightly, with almost none of the passion of earlier, and a small shiver runs down her spine. But it is immediately followed by a wave of heat that spreads through her like a flash flood, and then spills over to me.

Her hand isn't as cold as before, and I'm about to let go of her to check it when someone above us calls out "Hey Al! Look who's getting to second base!"

I look up to see who spoke, but I already know. "Ed... Whe... Ho-How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to get some good pictures!" Is his cocky reply. Then he claps his hands and transmutes a cable from the metal bars surrounding the opening of our cage. With a maniacle cackle he sprints off, leaving Alphonse standing alone at the hole.

"Alphonse!"

"Yes?"

"RanFan is injured, can you make something to get us out?"

He nods, "Brother can be so thoughtless sometimes."

As he slams his hands to the ground, I look at RanFan, whose eyes are closed. "RanFan?" No response. "RanFan? RanFan!" I shift her weight slightly, and feel her breath on my neck. "Thank god."

I feel the ground beneath me become stairs, and Alphonse calls down. "Ling? How bad is she?"

I stand up, holding her in my arms instead of over my shoulder like last time. "Very."

"Ling? Tell me. How bad is it? If I know what happened..."

I cut him off, already halfway up the stairs. "She's unconscious, that's all you need to know." He nods, knowing from experience that he can't force information out of me if I don't want to give it.

The walk back to their teacher's house is painfully silent, but at least there aren't any people on the streets yet. Al opens the door and holds it for me, "Put her on the couch, I'm going to get Winry." He quickly returns, dragging her by the wrist. "She's down here."

The blonde girl's eyes widen, and her night gown flutters as she runs over. "Ling, I need to know _exactly_ what happened. Don't leave _anything_ out."

I sigh, resolving to not tell her about the kiss. "A floor tile fell and hit the back of her head, if she hadn't rolled on top of me, I would be dead. She was unconscious for a short while, then she woke up momentarily and asked if I was alright before fainting. Then she was asleep for a long time, probably a few hours." Her expectant gaze prods me to continue, "Shortly before waking up, she became restless and screamed my name several times in terror. Then she woke up and cried for a while before I noticed that her hand had turned blue. I was attempting to warm it with body heat when Al showed up and let us out."

Her brow furrows, "How long was it between the impact of the tile and the bandaging?"

"Only a minute or two, but I had to remove a large shard."

"You saved her life by putting on the bandage, and her hand will recover in no time at all. But what about her shoulder? It seems to have bled a fair amount as well."

"She ripped several stitches when she threw her arm around me after the second nightmare, and several more when I told her that her head was injured and she tried to touch it. That's when I noticed her hand."

"I'm going to need to re stitch her shoulder, and her head will need stitches as well, along with a thorough cleaning."

I nod somewhat numbly, taking her hand and rubbing the back of it with my thumb. "RanFan, please be okay."

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**I'm still indecisive as to how many chapters this will have in the end. But know this, it will be more than five!  
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_REWIEVERS LOVED BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF SANITY!_

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_I'm lonely!  
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	5. Chapter 5

**I apologize profusely for being so late in posting this chapter. It would not surprise me if this story has been forgotten by all its readers, as I am so often forgotten IRL.**

**My eternal thanks goes out to my reviewers: Wrath lover, Kristie94, Just Leah, and L.D.N. (you know who you are)**

_Now let the story begin!_

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**Ed's POV  
**I wake up with the sun shining in my face and Al shaking my shoulder lightly. "Brother? Brother, are you awake?"

I roll over, yawning slightly. "I am now."

He smiles, golden eyes shining. "Good, because I'm pretty sure Ling and RanFan want to get out of wherever you trapped them."

I sit bolt upright, fully awake, my words hissing through clenched teeth. "How did you know about that?"

A smile nearly splits his skinny face, "I'm the one who came up with the plan. I figured you would carry it out. Where are they anyways?"

I stand up and walk over to the chest of drawers where my clothes are. "I trapped them in the old warehouse."

"The one we used to play in? But it's huge!"

I smirk, pulling on a pair of pants. "Not in their cell."

I grab a shirt as Al splutters, "You put them in a **cell**?"

I grab my jacket from where it's hanging on the back of the door. "Stop worrying, you'll give yourself a headache. Besides, it's just that old closet. You know, the one where we transmuted the door into the wall?" I don't wait for his reply, "I weakened the floor just above it and he fell in, then I pushed her in after him." I choose to ignore his dumbstruck, yet somehow disapproving gaze and simply grab Teacher's camera and walk out the door, glad that nobody else is awake yet.

Al tags along with me, worry written all over his thin face. "But brother, there isn't any roof over that closet!"

"I know! I've been feeling guilty about that. But they've got each other, I'm sure they're fine."

He rolls his eyes. "Brother, you should have made sure there was a roof!" I don't answer, just pour on the speed and reach the warehouse in record time. Al catches up to me, and we enter the somewhat decrypt building. Al runs one hand along a half crumbled wall. "I'd almost forgotten how old this place is."

"Yeah, it's the only place I could think of that it wouldn't be unrealistic for the floor to crumble." We walk in silence up the stairs and over to the hall with the gaping hole that Ling fell through. I prime the camera and whisper to Al, "Stay quiet, if they're kissing, I want to catch them in the act." He sighs and I crawl closer, camera in hand. I peek over the edge and see her sitting on his lap, their lips locked together and one of his hands entangled in the little hair that's showing through the turban-like wrapping that I recognize as his shirt. They're both completely oblivious, so I point the camera at them and make sure that they're discernible, then snap a few pictures. I crawl backwards to where Al is standing and sit up, smirk on my face. "These will be _perfect _for blackmail." I get to my feet and walk over, not trying to be loud, or sneaky, just walking normally. I stand at the edge and look down, smirk growing as I take another picture. "Hey Al! Look who's getting to second base!"

They look up, faces turning tomato red as Ling stammers out, "Ed… When… Ho-How long have you been standing there?"

Al walks up behind me as I say, "Long enough to get some good pictures!" I clap my hands and transmute them a rope before running off. I don't know how fast Ling can run, so I'd better get a good head start and drop off this film to be developed. Oh, this is going to be fun!

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**A/N: reviews make me squee in the morning, as well as whatever other time I check my inbox!**


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